Set for maximum dryness!
Boldly purchasing what no man has purchased before. Today. We...
Moving is fun. I have a nice apartment--it's in a very quiet, out of the way neighborhood. Technically it is next to a mall, but it is an Asian mall (the webpage describes it as offering "dining, shopping, pretty life") and it's very subdued. The loudest noise is from the pipes. I like it.

So I will need to:
1. Purchase supplies
2. Set your daily rations (currently MEAGER) and pace (currently GRUELING)
3. Look around
4. Talk to COMCAST

Your choice: 4

[cut to 16-color graphic of a bored CSR while a MIDI of a Muzak adaptation of Rod Stewart plays. In the background, other CSR's traversing the trail have two frames of animation, causing them to look like they're flickering back and forth]

"You need to be careful when setting a date to get Comcast service. If you choose to start too early, you'll face tougher conditions and have fewer choices. On the other hand, if you choose to wait, you might not get Internet before winter sets in!"

Choosing 4 repeatedly accomplishes nothing else.

PG&E, however, was blissfully easy. They requested a deposit of twice the average bill at the apartment, which they identified as being "30". I do not actually imagine my average bill to be $15, but I can hope.

I did some preliminary shopping yesterday to obtain the essentials of life (Swedish Fish and caffeinated beverage). I also purchased a pillow and what is identified on the label as a "J-Class Towel," which I understand to be standard issue for newly-arrived Starfleet personnel.

Operations: Captain! We are under precipitation!
Captain: Red alert! Raise umbrellas.
Tactical: Umbrellas raised. No effect.
Captain: Helm, get us out of here!
Helm: I'm detecting a single apartment-type dwelling, .5 klicks from our current position. We can take shelter there.
Captain: Make it so.
Operations: We've cleared the threshhold. Precipitation has stopped.
Tactical: Structural aridity is at 30%. Water has compromised all primary garments.
Captain: Activate blowdryer.
Tactical: Blowdryer activated. No effect, Captain. Structural aridity is at 28% and falling.
Captain: Options!
First Officer: We may have to consider abandoning clothes.
Captain: Not on my watch. Tactical--set the blowdryer to emit a constant stream of high-energy molecules. Increase power to maximum.
::switches flipped on blowdryer::
Tactical: No effect. Water is beginning to infiltrate secondary systems.
Captain: Divert additional power to the blowdryer!
::in the background, the refrigerator dies. The clock on the oven flickers and cuts out::
Main P&Geering: You're overloading the power conduits! You're going to have to abort!
Captain: Shut it down! Commander, send the order to evacuate from all clothes. Order the crew to deploy J-Class Towels to all affected areas.


Well, perhaps not.

Actually, definitely not, as it's hard to imagine anyone from Starfleet shipping out with something they couldn't "increase power to" or "remodulate". ("Captain! Our pencils are having no effect on this notebook!" "Remodulate the primary writing emitter to direct a coherent beam of graphite at the paper. Set for .7 millimetre spread." "No effect! The graphite is beginning to lose structural integrity!" "Reinitialise the emitter!").

Hmm. Perhaps if I hadn't grown up on "Voyager" the Captain wouldn't be required to solve anything. Ah well. I'm about to drop out of subway close to my destination, so, y'alls peace out.

/a
Galluskek
4.09.2009 - 2h41
Vulpecula
5.09.2009 - 12h45

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