Diary of an Expat, Part 49
Hamburgers and Helsinki
This journal is going to be a little bit fragmented for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I've now been in Berlin for more than a year, and I should probably note that in some way. But I'm not sure what the best way to approach some kind of omnibus summary, so for now I'm going to skip it.

Secondly, I wasn't in Berlin over the week, I was in Helsinki.

I really like Helsinki a lot. It's a gorgeous city, and I got to eat reindeer in a number of different ways. Plus, I found a Finnish tapas joint, and that's also pretty incredible. The Finns really like their food in cube form, so, most of the tapas were various fish cubes. It's absolutely delicious.

I took a lot of pictures of Helsinki, but I'm not allowed to post them yet so I won't. Maybe at some later date — like a couple of months from now, when it's pitch black in Helsinki and I need to remember what the city looks like with that 'sun' thing happening.

I can't quite tell yet whether or not the weather is turning. Sometimes I think that it is — it was quite chilly in Helsinki, and it started raining in a way that makes me suspect that come proper fall Helsinki would not be terribly pleasant. It's been cool here, too, cool enough to be pleasant enough to bike around in in the daytime, and unpleasant enough to warrant a jacket at night. But it's supposed to be 29 tomorrow, so who knows?

Also, it turns out that when it rains in Helsinki, and there's water on the road, you can avoid hydroplaning by driving much faster. At least, this is the sense of things I get from the Finnish taxi drivers.

I haven't had the time to decompress from Helsinki properly yet, and I've had friends in town which has not done wonders for my ability to just take a day or two to relax — I'll have to push that to next weekend, I suppose.

I will say that I have started to adopt some German mannerisms, which brings me to today's real point, which is that if you're not eating hamburgers with a knife and fork you're a chump. You don't think that you are, I know that. You look down on people who use utensils.

I used to be like you.

But here's the thing. I know that you think that by seizing dinner in both manly paws and shoving your face into it you're demonstrating your masculine mastery over food. Like a primal element of nature, or a wolf, you tear into your prey but nothing with your god-given implements. You think you are proving something to that hamburger.

Really, though, you're just admitting to yourself and the world that the hamburger you've chosen to consume is so insignificant, so wispy and uninspired in its construction, that it does not require disassembly with a knife and fork. Waving your Hot Wheels at Kimi Raikkonen, you insist that your little toy is better because you can pick it up easily. And you're wrong.

So you should start investing in better burgers, and utensils for them. Use an obsidian knife if you really want the back-to-nature feel. Yeah.
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